By Lexi Alioto
Based on a true story.
In the midst of a global pandemic, who would have thought a tall lanky bartender with a mild widows peak, and a busty comedian with a passion for rom-coms would find love?
Let me paint you a pretty picture a la Netflix……...
Lights up on Alexia Asiago, a McKeesport, PA native living in the Windy City of Chicago. She’s been looking for love in all the wrong places, including but not limited to improv comedy clubs (where she works and makes funny) and grocery store frozen food aisles. Hobbies include walking up and down her two flights of stairs, curling her hair, and singing along to any and all songs by Hootie and the Blowfish. All Alexia ever wanted was to be less of the funny girl, and more of the serious “relationship” type. But the question was, will love ever truly be able to share the spotlight with her?
And now we cut to a quick commercial… “Hurry up and buy your brand new BMW in the pandemic and by paying 0% finance for 10 months!” HELL YEAH--SIGN ME UP JANICE FROM BMW! I HAVE TONS OF MONEY RIGHT NOW.
Lights back up on Lawrence Clementine, a Schaumberg, IL born lad who made his way to Chicago, following his love for craft cocktails and The Bears. He had been stirring and shaking his way around town, falling in and out of love with several ladies who left his heart brittle as the Bears’ last season stats. Hobbies included training his cat to do handstands, reading Kurt Vonnegut, and perfecting his signature dance move, which he named “The Stinger.” The only thing missing from Lawrence’s life was someone to be the eco-friendly straw to his Long Island Iced Tea.
Oh? Another commercial… “Limited Time ONLY! JetBlue is offering $41 roundtrip ticket deals until 2021”...GREAT JETBLUE I’M DEFINITELY GETTING ON A PLANE IT'S SUPER CLEAN LYLAS COOL BEANS.
Flash forward in time, when these two individuals sign up for a once in a lifetime chance to be quarantined together without ever having met. Alexia makes her way to Lawrence’s uptown bachelor pad, eager to meet who she hopes is the love of her life. Lawrence greets her, sexually clad in light wash slightly flared jeans, and is instantly taken by her Irish facial moles and charming smile. She looked around the apartment to find 2 glasses in the cupboard, his cat’s hair lining the shower curtain, and a bed with one pillow. She was taken by his simplicity and let him fix her a drink. They talked and talked and smooched and smooched and after a week of passionate getting to know you’s, they had fallen for each other.
Not another commercial...just a phone call from your Grandma Sue that interrupts your live streaming to ensure that you are indeed still eating and alive during this pandemic.
After three weeks into the quarantine, the love of Alexia and Lawrence hits a new test: virtually meeting the friends and families. He meets hers first over a lively happy hour that features some fun rounds of Truth or Dare, during which Lawrence is forced to proudly do The Worm in front of her entire family. He passes the test with flying colors. She meets his close friends next by doing a fun social- distance-meet-and-greet (White Claws included) and his best friend telling Alexia, “he’s the happiest he's ever been.” She passes the test with glowing reviews.
Five weeks into the quarantine and the honeymoon phase is coming to a close as the actual feeling of being married creeps steadily in. Alexia becomes the only one cleaning the dishes while Lawrence gets angry at her for constantly ruining of the ends of movies he’s never seen. Alexia struggles to get Lawrence to consider the benefits of eating salads while Lawrence begs Alexia to learn how to play D&D. But most importantly, they realize how important they are to one another and find themselves wondering, “is love REALLY quarantined?”
That's where the first episode leaves us...wanting more...pondering, can two strangers truly live through this global pandemic and fall madly in love at the end of it all? Stay tuned next week for more Love is Quarantined.
Lexi is a Chicago based actress/comedienne who specializes in music comedy writing and currently is working with The Second City (She The People) as a performer. She’s fascinated with the lost city of Atlantis and one day plans to start running. You can find her on instagram @aalioto92